Entry 76: Nostalgia -or some similarly prickly feeling - tightened around my chest as I removed books from the shelves in the comfortable little room that served as my office this year. Whole Faculty Study Groups, Professional Learning Communities at Work, The Adaptive School, The Teaching Gap, ID Project Management - I stacked these and other books by wise and wonderful authors into an empty box and wondered what forklift would be available to carry it to the trunk of my car. As I gazed ruefully at the small library I gave a chuckle, remembering how straightforward this whole project had seemed when I first soaked up information from those pages. Obviously, much of the knowledge went astray somewhere in my faulty memory circuits. However, some if it must have stuck. We did have our successes.

Entry 77: I opened the three-ring binder that keeps the project documentation in some semblance of order and flipped through the teacher's comments again before packing them up to take home:

"This process gave me a reason to read and share -I probably would not have spent the time doing research otherwise."

"I developed an a deeper awareness of issues which directly impact my students performance. I am motivated to try out new ideas and to practice what we discuss."

"We needed more direction and structure at the beginning of the project. We didn't have enough of a roadmap and we didn't have a clear picture of our destination. "

"I could not have made it through this first year of teaching language arts without this kind of support. I wouldn't even have gotten to know the other language arts teachers!"

"During our team's discussions, new teaching methods and curricular concepts surfaced and caused us to engage in reflective analysis."

"Some team members were not motivated to address the issue. Some days we had trouble staying on task in our team meetings."

"This process gave me the courage to try new teaching ideas that I would have never tried without the support and participation of my team."

Without fail, one concern of every team was the issue of time - time to meet, research, and implement ideas. Time free from distractions and constant interruptions. Teachers also wrote thoughts and recommendations for next year. Some are going to pick up where they left off. Others will revamp and start again.

As I closed that last binder, it occurred to me that the feeling gripping my chest is more than nostalgia. It's impatience! We finally have enough information to start the project! Now we can kick it off and get somewhere!" We've finally reached the point where this project can accomplish the list of things I wrote into the project proposal from my rosy perspective last fall. And the school year is ending? Give me a break!

Entry 78: Looking around my depressingly packed-up office, I clicked through my final checklist. All teams debriefed. All teacher professional development hours counted. All certificates prepared, signed by the principal, and distributed. All project documentation gathered and filed under the proper tab in one of four over-sized three-ring binders. I rested a treasured gift from a student, a bright red apple filled with gem clips, on top of a box already stuffed with take-home-for-the-summer items.

As I passed by their rooms carrying the less-weighty items to my car, teachers hunched over grade books, cumulative record folders, and report cards - glancing up every now and then to give a distracted wave or smile. The school reverberated with that unique hollowness that won't be filled until another 800 energetic adolescents burst through the doors in the fall. That prickly twinge again.

Entry 79: The principal's eyes showed all the signs of strain that accompany the closing of school. This year he had the added burden of having to tell some teachers that, despite their good performance, they won't have positions next year due to budget cutbacks. I'm not even going to consider that he might be vaguely uneasy about the school board's annual summer dance ritual - The "Move the Principal to Another School Shuffle." In fact, I'm adding one more question to my list of "Things I Wonder About at Two O'clock in the Morning." Why would anyone in his/her right mind want to be a principal?

Despite the weighty stuff he's juggling, we made plans for the fall. In August, teachers will use two days of staff development to prepare for the Impact Team process prior to the beginning of school. During that time, teachers will analyze student data and adopt a faculty-wide focus. The principal plans to suggest that all teams adopt a focus on student learning styles as an approach to addressing the identified student needs. For the moment I have the feeling that things are in order. Obviously, I'm not a quick learner.

Entry 80: In a fit of determination bordering on an obsessive-compulsive disorder, I finished writing a guidebook of sorts based on what I've learned this year. Next year at least two schools will have teacher-facilitators to help carry on the Impact Team process we've started this year. Maybe other teachers will want to initiate a similar process in their schools. While this guidebook certainly won't win the "World's Most Highly Acclaimed Educational Masterpiece" award, maybe it can help these courageous colleagues with some hints, handouts, and lessons learned. And perhaps we can form a study group for study-group facilitators - a place where those of us who are breaking new ground can meet and share experiences, and build a sort of action research base. Dreaming really big - maybe we can spread out to other areas, even other states, and establish some online collaboration among facilitators at schools who are looking for a help in engaging teachers in collaboration and learning. I can see it now - we can turn our collective insights into a document with a long "How to" section and an even longer "We Wish We Knew How To" section!

I'm no good at gut-wrenching, poignant endings, so I'll just say thanks for reading this diary. Thanks for suffering through the incomplete sentences, creative punctuation, and incorrect prose. Most of all, thanks for the responses, ideas, and suggestions some of you took time to send me. I've done a better job with this project because I knew I'd have to confess to you on a biweekly basis. So, in a real way, you also share responsibility for any good things that happened.

Anne